You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
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I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
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Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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