Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
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