I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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