you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
