We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
