my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
