You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
