Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
