it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
