thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
