you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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