Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
