This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
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it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
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I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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