this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
