We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Can I color on your dick again?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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