I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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