Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
