I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
