Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
