But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
you never un-have a 4some
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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