OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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