Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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