Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
it was like having sex with a tree stump
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I would ride that face into the sunset
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
