So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Did I show you my penis last night?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
