Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Randomize
