Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Randomize
