Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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