Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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