i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Houston, we have a squirter
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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