Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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