they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
