Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
