I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
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Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.