Texts From Last Night

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  (404): View more from Georgia

  He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.

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  (404): He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina. http://tfl.nu/81m1
  Replies (28) Good night (971) Bad night (7543)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.

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  (978): This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students. http://tfl.nu/2o57
  Replies (8) Good night (2893) Bad night (1401)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina

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  (313): I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina http://tfl.nu/zo54
  Replies (5) Good night (3027) Bad night (775)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.

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  (856): I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy. http://tfl.nu/827v
  Replies (4) Good night (1176) Bad night (1132)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  Solid. Can't put a price on good times

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  You can and it's called a liver.

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  (386): Solid. Can't put a price on good times (978): You can and it's called a liver. http://tfl.nu/hzws
  Replies (3) Good night (1847) Bad night (621)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Faces of meth called, they want their look back.

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  (703): Faces of meth called, they want their look back. http://tfl.nu/3q15
  Replies (7) Good night (754) Bad night (1429)
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  (760): View more from California

  The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.

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  (760): The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here. http://tfl.nu/qr6c
  Replies (3) Good night (541) Bad night (926)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.

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  (517): It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals. http://tfl.nu/8hcd
  Replies (0) Good night (701) Bad night (331)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride

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  (585): Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride http://tfl.nu/ym4t
  Replies (3) Good night (1134) Bad night (394)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.

  (1-614): View more from Ohio

  15 is 15

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  (614): He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community. (1-614): 15 is 15 http://tfl.nu/ct2y
  Replies (6) Good night (454) Bad night (907)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES

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  (210): DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES http://tfl.nu/t9nl
  Replies (5) Good night (1534) Bad night (369)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Hey, I'm your guy

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  (613): I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this. (647): Hey, I'm your guy http://tfl.nu/p6u8
  Replies (2) Good night (1117) Bad night (345)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.

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  (704): I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car. http://tfl.nu/x1gt
  Replies (4) Good night (634) Bad night (283)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.

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  (218): His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me. http://tfl.nu/111u
  Replies (0) Good night (593) Bad night (306)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water

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  (330): ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water http://tfl.nu/dbl8
  Replies (0) Good night (526) Bad night (272)

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