she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
