Texts From Last Night

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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now

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  (443): I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now http://tfl.nu/gk88
  Replies (8) Good night (4258) Bad night (694)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.

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  (813): either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand. http://tfl.nu/9289
  Replies (7) Good night (4320) Bad night (908)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....

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  (269): i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn.... http://tfl.nu/s1xw
  Replies (20) Good night (738) Bad night (5355)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...

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  (517): I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night... http://tfl.nu/z2d7
  Replies (15) Good night (5509) Bad night (964)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again

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  (703): Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again http://tfl.nu/33pv
  Replies (3) Good night (1732) Bad night (2682)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry

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  (219): I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry http://tfl.nu/lrp2
  Replies (21) Good night (1206) Bad night (4549)
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  (646): View more from New York

  Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit

  (646): View more from New York

  The facepaint not the blacking out

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  (646): Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit (646): The facepaint not the blacking out http://tfl.nu/pnw5
  Replies (6) Good night (3062) Bad night (808)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child

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  (207): Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child http://tfl.nu/qzf1
  Replies (4) Good night (2886) Bad night (736)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.

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  (832): No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin. http://tfl.nu/1p6f
  Replies (16) Good night (935) Bad night (2233)
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  (310): View more from California

  you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity

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  (310): you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity http://tfl.nu/374z
  Replies (2) Good night (848) Bad night (526)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on

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  (313): Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on http://tfl.nu/edc7
  Replies (11) Good night (1115) Bad night (449)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation

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  (931): My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation http://tfl.nu/stoh
  Replies (2) Good night (626) Bad night (398)
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  (760): View more from California

  My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town

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  (760): My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town http://tfl.nu/5sn6
  Replies (0) Good night (1035) Bad night (316)
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  (619): View more from California

  He had a step stool to get in to his bed!

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  (619): He had a step stool to get in to his bed! http://tfl.nu/4n7f
  Replies (4) Good night (338) Bad night (621)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.

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  (816): You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir. http://tfl.nu/hg5f
  Replies (2) Good night (576) Bad night (299)

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