it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......