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put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
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