Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(916): View more from California

put your butt on the phone this is a booty call

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(916): put your butt on the phone this is a booty call http://tfl.nu/3vuo

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(845): View more from New York

It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.

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(845): It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot. http://tfl.nu/ztf1

Replies (69) Good night (4117) Bad night (675)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

this is something i pride myself on being below average for

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(920): this is something i pride myself on being below average for http://tfl.nu/tsy8

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(802): View more from Vermont

beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.

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(802): beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces. http://tfl.nu/r2in

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(843): View more from South Carolina

Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.

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(843): Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat. http://tfl.nu/tf28

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem

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(267): I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem http://tfl.nu/6rep

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.

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(484): Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are. http://tfl.nu/0j8c

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(757): View more from Virginia

so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?

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(757): so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you? http://tfl.nu/s3jk

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(616): View more from Michigan

he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing

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(616): he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing http://tfl.nu/m3tl

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(407): View more from Florida

Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.

(1-407): View more from Florida

Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.

(407): View more from Florida

Bro? You just made it a target.

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(407): Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy. (1-407): Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far. (407): Bro? You just made it a target. http://tfl.nu/0hg2

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?

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(814): The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave? http://tfl.nu/sauc

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever

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(715): I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever http://tfl.nu/rkkg

Replies (3) Good night (1355) Bad night (346)
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(818): View more from California

I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u

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(818): I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u http://tfl.nu/ckyh

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(214): View more from Texas

I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.

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(214): I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help. http://tfl.nu/nnry

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(903): View more from Texas

Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.

(1-903): View more from Texas

Dude I've been in FL since Monday.

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(903): Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night. (1-903): Dude I've been in FL since Monday. http://tfl.nu/crr9

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