I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis