He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
this is an emotional support booty call
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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