Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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