I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
