on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i would punch a child for taco bell
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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