I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
