Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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