Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
