There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
