Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Use "feeling words"
Yay
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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