never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
