if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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