I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Randomize
