first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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