Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Randomize
