google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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