You can't special order awesome
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
