Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
