I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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