3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
