is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
