So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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