If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
