Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
