His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
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I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
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He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
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