The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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