There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
