I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
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