Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(708): View more from Illinois

Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.

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(504): View more from Louisiana

I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.

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(808): View more from Hawaii

I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.

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(708): View more from Illinois

Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame

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(309): View more from Illinois

stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.

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(618): View more from Illinois

So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.

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(620): View more from Kansas

Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen

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