Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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