Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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