wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Couch. On fire.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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