I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
