i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I am mentally ready for anal.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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