It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
